Returning to India - final moments, the dilemma I thought never existed

So, a lot of you must be thinking...where did I vanish after having made such a sensational debut on the blogging circuit! :) For those who are not aware yet, I relocated to India at the end of July and its just been one thing after another, thats taken me away from getting back to this space! But...no regrets, 'coz I did not just fill this space just for the heck of it! :) It took me all this while to get back and I thought what best other than to share my closing moments of living in Fairfield, CT - the place where I lived for more than 3 years, the place where I started my married life, the place where I became what I am as a professional today!

In a world where all actions have to be justified by hard logical reasoning, there is little room left for ambivalence or dilemma. This is especially true when it comes to NRIs wanting to return to India. The issue of whether to return has been debated and re-debated for years and very few, if any, have really found a general compelling reason one way or the other. This is because it is an extremely complex topic involving economical, cultural and emotional issues. I had always thought that I wanted to return to India for good, but never knew when would it be....I kept keeping milestones and kept pushing them back, but it was always at the back of my mind! The way it happened, though....was way quicker than I would have ever expected :)

When I moved out first in early 2004, I had encountered the usual roadblocks to adjusting in a world outside the four corners of my home! The emotional adjustment was relatively easier as I got over the initial homesickness and frequent trips back home for a fairly long period never hurt either! However, the cultural adjustment was a much longer one...the gap is far bigger than what most Indians expect before they live in the West. For example, our food habits, topics of conversation, ways of recreation were all quite different. But again, these were all considered the usual hurdles for a first generation emmigrant and therefore never questioned.

Time always seems to fly for everyone, but when living a fast-paced American lifestyle this cliché couldn't be truer. With work, home and more recently, a spouse I lived life king size, spiced up by a Bollywood new release, every Friday, shopping on all mega sale events and exploring new cuisines every weekend...life was fun. And before I knew it, I had already lived outside of India for 6 years..most of those being in the US. But I think for almost all that time, I nurtured a desire to be able to return one day. This was kept close to my heart initially, and later voiced pretty openly too! Though, whenever I disclosed this to others I ended up getting really confused. What is the rationale behind this, some would ask. Is it to renew family ties or have children and bring them up in an Indian culture? Is it some vague longing for a past that was left long behind? Or worse, is it some far fetched ambition to serve your country and make a positive change? The very idea was often ridiculed. Horror stories of people suffering after moving back were told as proof of this fallacy. My own cousin having returned to India and then gone back within a short period of 12 months, did not help my cause! Then there were others like me, who were more ambivalent. Our hearts longed to return but we hadn't figured out how. Some of us planned to work for a few more years and then decide - maybe after getting to a higher career level; maybe after some more savings; maybe after having kids. It was popularly known as the 'X+1 syndrome'. (When an Indian professional becomes a 'Non-Resident Indian', he soon starts suffering from a strange disease. The symptoms are a fixture of restlessness, anxiety, hope and nostalgia. The virus is a deep inner need to get back home. Like Shakespeare said, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." The medical world has not coined a word for this malady. Strange as it is, it could go by a stranger name, the "X + 1" syndrome. To explain, if 'X' is the current year, then the objective is to return back to India in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached)

The desire to return seemed to grow stronger everyday. It seemed to grow in some irrational corner of my mind which I knew could never be touched by reason - though I had created a new argument to justify my case. I used to say...."Its all about prioritization. If your career/professional life as well as a comfortable lifestyle is a priority, the US was the place to stay; however, if social life/family and friends as well as living in a country that you belong to as a 'first class citizen' was a priority, then Go India!" Most people agreed with it and believed it to be something that made sense. But within myself, I didnt know 100% which category did I fall in, though I was always heavily inclined to the latter, but the frills of the former attracted me nevertheless!

I thought, the only way to deal with all of this, is to experience it. And therefore, I had expressed my desire to return back to India with GE to my manager and finally after a long time, I could even see the opportunity. GE was setting up a M&A team in India and it was the perfect opportunity for me to join in! My offer for the new role came on July 2, and I was supposed to join August 1... wow, after having wanted to return for more than 4 years, I had just 4 weeks to pack and actually relocate! Those 4 weeks were a lot of fun in my life - I could actually see for the first time, how people felt they were gonna miss me.... after all relationships had been formed over years - I began to realize, I did have a good social circle in the US too! But anyways, the joy of coming back was above everything else! Having endured the 'X+1' syndrome for years, I felt almost shocked to have to move back so suddenly. On one hand I felt like sitting back and contemplating on the huge change that was about to happen. And on the other, I had almost an endless list of things to do - closing bank accounts, shopping clothes for the foreseeable future (I almost could not think of wearing anything outside of the brands that I used to wear), making travel arrangements, and completing all remaining projects at work. And last but not the least, attending the few farewells...was leaving some of those people behind who had become my 'new family', spending time with them on all weekends and going out for vacations and long dinners during the week - I suddenly began to feel, it wasn't as easy to just pack and go as I had always thought of it, to be! One of the friends coming over to see us off at the airport has probably been one of the more emotional moments in my recent life!:(

The people who came to know about it - both at work and outside had a wide range of reactions - from sadness that we were leaving to rejoicing in the fact that we were returning to India. Some of them mentioned that I was really lucky and given a similar opportunity they would do the same. But without exception they all asked the big question, WHY. Our grocery store keeper asked my wife, "Have your visa's expired and your company is not renewing them??" (I thought to myself, would that be the only reason she could think for someone to go back to India???)

I was in a big dilemma. Although it seemed so simple, because this is what I always wanted, it didn't seem so obvious any more. So I wondered - what if I said I had no hard reasons? What if I said that I was returning to a place where I felt I belonged? What if I said that I was following my heart? Would that be too vague?

Finally, I decided to dodge the question. I told them, "I have family there and I don't have to compromise on my career either. I followed my career when I moved here and am still doing the same with the new M&A set up in India being a unique opportunity". They all nodded as if it made great sense to them. It was the most rational reason I could come up with. I felt it was best to avoid any debates at this stage. Besides, I knew no hard reasons existed.

I thought, "may be I'll figure it out one day after settling down in India".

In ourselves, are triumph and defeat

Not in the clamor of the crowded street,

Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,

But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat!

C.W. Longenecker had once said, "Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. But soon or late the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can". Whether you're playing a sport or you're at work or even personally in all the struggles that life presents, I have always wondered what it takes to win! While some would say you need a lot of luck, there are others who would say its sheer hard work and perseverance and yet, there will be those who believe winning is not the ultimate objective at all! So what does it take to win and whether indeed it is essential to win?? What better way to illustrate the point, than quoting T.A. Edison, when he remarked....We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb. While some didn't work, others just flashed and went dead and some only lasted a few minutes...but Edison believed that each attempt to create a light bulb was a step ahead in his learning process...he believed in himself that he could eventually succeed in getting one to work long enough that it would make sense to make it for sale to the public!

We all have bad days and moments...it could come in various ways, it could be issues with friends, family problems, illness, financial problems in our lives etc. Defeat in our lives does not necessarily mean the end of our world. Defeat comes in once in a while but the real defeat is when we fail to overcome whatever circumstances that come our way. If we think and believe we can win, we surely can. To this argument one may say, where is the role of hard work if only thinking and believing is all that it takes? Well, to believe something means to put your ideas into practice and therefore, there comes in the significance of effort/hard work! Rather than allowing defeats to demoralize us, we can turn it around to our advantage and analyze why we lost and strike a deal for effective trials in the future. Defeats are somewhat a blessing in disguise as they make us learn more about ourselves than we possibly can do otherwise. And then again, if we ourselves feel that we would lose, then of course we surely will!

Is winning all that important? I know we always say its more important to play than to win...its the effort that counts and not the result etc etc! But tell me something how many of us would go into playing a sport thinking its okay to lose? How many of us would take up a venture assuming it would be fine to fail in it? How many would take up a challenge in life with the intention of just working through the issues and not aiming to resolve them (i.e, win)? I bet the answer to all those questions is none of us! It is really the desire to succeed, the thrill of victory, the essence of being triumphant that gets us motivated to continue... to pursue our endeavours... to fight against all odds; and yet, if we do end up defeated, it is just one of the several attempts we would make to get that thing done! So I'd say winning is probably the single most motivating driver that pushes man to do everything that he does! What I am not saying is that if we don't win, its the end of life.... all I'm trying to say is that we should always enter into something and put in our best as if we wanted to be victorious - that's the only factor we can control! There are several other factors that are beyond our control and therefore the result is not purely a function of our effort, so it is our mind that needs to understand that all "I" can do is to try to succeed, to try and be triumphant...and then whether or not "I" am eventually the winner, depends on a whole lot of other factors that play a role in it! Therefore, what I say is that when we end up being defeated, we should not consider it to be an end to all the future genuine endeavours that we should make in order to pursue something..to succeed; we should just consider it as one of the stepping stones to the forthcoming success, the ensuing triumph!

And...what is triumph...is it the ability to defeat others or is it the successful ending of one's own struggle? I'd define winning as achieving a pre-meditated goal! In other words to triumph is to succeed and vice-versa. So then, exactly why is it important? The answer is simple: Man is born to win...we have a primal instinct that compels us to achieve, that drive is what's behind each thought and action...it is what initiates every moment of our lives! So we feel happy and overjoyed when we achieve what we target and emerge victorious and at the same time, get upset when the opposite happens. It is only human to be disappointed when we lose, to be dejected and demoralized by defeat and I encourage all of us to feel the resentment that defeat can cause...for it is only when we feel that ways, that we will gather up all the courage, sit up and decide to fight against it and draw out a plan to win the next time! It is indeed in our own minds as to how we want to approach something....whether to be bogged down by failures or to learn from each failure on what mistakes not to repeat in the future. One would then question: What about repeated failures on different counts? If we try several times and still not succeed? It is important to appreciate that we will not always win...there are going to be times when we will have to lose, there are going to be events in which we will have to face defeat, so then how does it matter? Well, it does!! Take for example someone who is a professional tennis player: how many of us think that he will be disappointed if he loses a chess game with his friend, if two weeks later, he has the Wimbledon trophy with him? Or, would a presiding member of parliament be upset if he fails to learn a new language after trying a few times, if he does end up winning a second term eventually? Get what I'm trying to say?? Its all about the battles we want to pick in our lives...we need to be able to prioritize in our minds on what are the few things that make life worth living and focus all our attention in winning on those fronts and I'm sure if all our energy is channelized to concentrate on the few things that we want to win, the few areas that 'drive' us...we will definitely succeed, not just in those areas alone, but also in general, for the moment we stop thinking about 'losing' on other grounds, we succeed in eliminating the word defeat from our lives altogether!!

In the end, I can only remember Sir Steve Redgrave, the man who won five consecutive Olympic gold medals in rowing...Winning is all in the mind!

Raavan - A Review

Director: Mani Ratnam
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Vikram
Music: AR Rahman
Cinematography: Santosh Sivan

A movie that boasted an epic as its foundation, a movie directed by one of the best directors in India, a movie that managed to get the junior Bachchan couple on-screen together again, a movie that had expectations soaring high in the weeks running to its release; and finally, when it does release... oh boy, what a sheer disappointment!

Rating: 1.5/5

Mani Ratnam brings one of the cornerstone epics of the Hindu mythology "Ramayan" to the silver screen in a contemporary and visually stunning, yet mindless rubbish format. More so, since the audience doesn't expect Mani Ratnam to make any mistakes...period! A Mani Ratnam film is not just cinema...its a phenomena! Every character was carefully scripted to fit the screenplay of Ramayan - Vikram [Dev] is the righteous Lord Ram, Aishwarya [Ragini] as his loving wife Sita, Nikhil [Hemant] as his confidante Lakshman, Govinda [Sanjeevani] jumping on trees as Hanuman, Priyamani [Serena] who triggers the war as Surpanakha and of course, the antagonist Abhishek [Beera] as Raavan!

The moviegoer does find the mood strikingly similar to RGV's Jungle but this one takes it to an altogether new level. Mani Ratnam continues to deliver breathtaking stills in all his films, courtesy Sivan who delivers a masterpiece in terms of locales and picturization. But the movie disappoints incredibly on the narrative portion...the sequence of events is predictable and remains too safe to provide any surprises. From a story perspective, the only thing that I can term as a "brave" deviation from the original plot, is Ragini's change-of-heart towards Beera...she begins to melt once she hears his story and provocation for revenge and it does complete full-circle in the climax, when she inexplicably displays emotions of appreciation-cum-sympathy-cum-fascination at Beera's rendition of his conversation with Dev on the bridge! Ratnam does remain sensitive to the perpetually unaccommodating Indian audience and does not turn it into a Stockholm syndrome, which might have created a far different outcome with the masses, even if it made past the cutting board. Further, Ratnam even includes the "agni-pareeksha" in the form of a polygraph test to decide whether Ragini was lying or not!!!! Overall, from a film-maker who has to his credit some of the finest pieces of cinema in India such as Nayagan, Anjali, Roja, Bombay, Dil Se, Yuva, Guru...Raavan falls well short of the finish line.

The story line begins with Beera kidnapping Ragini (aka Raavan kidnapping Sita) and Dev launching a massive search mission to hunt down Beera and rescue his wife. Ordinary screenplay....at best! The paper-thin first half plot gets everyone restless...Why does Beera kidnap Ragini when he knows Dev was not a party to the assault on Serena? Why does Beera rename Ragini as Mahua?...all questions that are left for the viewer to imagine and conclude. Abhishek's persistent hamming was nowhere a symbol of the menace that Raavan was - with Beera coming across as borderline psycho! His character seems to be a carelessly woven mix of Raavan (the antagonist), Robin hood (helping the poor), Veerappan (forest king), a Naxalite (lower caste with strong base of followers) or even Tarzan (reminding us of our animal roots!!!). All that he does is bak bak bak bak bak bak. Sivan's landscapes were a visual treat, but even then for a large part of the first half, the camera moves around with so much ambiguity that you're left wondering why you came to watch the movie! The second half does shine over the first in terms of bringing about a coherent story. AR Rahman's music is average...from the master, this too comes as a disappointment. With the exception of the Beera number, which is already over with the opening credits before you're plunged into this darkness, the other numbers don't quite catch your attention. Whether it is Beera jumping with a not-so-flexible body in Thok De Killi or the horribly picturized Ranjha Ranjha, the music fails to deliver the punch. Action is good - the sequence at the climax is A class.

As far as the actors are concerned, Aishwarya looks lovely with no make up and as the wife who is torn between her feelings for someone else, and her duties towards her husband, she delivers a decent performance, although her own Nandini in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Konkona's Meenakshi in Mr & Mrs Iyer were far more superlative portrayals of this genre! Vikram is pot-bellied and one only wonders why was he even chosen for this role. Govinda fails to create any impact, Ravi Kishen is average and Priyamani has a few good scenes. For Abhishek, he cannot be proud of this after what he's given us in Yuva and Guru... perhaps he was too engrossed with applying multani mitti and haldi on his face and all those out there who are even trying to draw similarities between Beera and The Joker [Heath Ledger], just don't...you'll be doing nothing but making a fool out of yourselves.

Final word: Watch it just to appreciate that even geniuses make mistakes...albeit I admit, only sometimes!

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Next post: In ourselves, are triumph and defeat on June 27, 2010

AR Rahman - Live in Concert

It all started about a month ago, as we were watching Zee TV and an ad popped up with AR Rahman's World Tour titled Jai Ho 2010! Now, Neha and I are huge fans of the song, and of course Rahman and coupled with the fact that we had never seen him Live in a show, the excitement just led us to book tickets immediately! And, boy....what a show it was! A packed Nassau Coliseum, electrifying sound accoustics, unbeatable desi junta dancing around, songs that are melodious evergreens....the concert was outstanding!

We left office early just to make sure we avoid the Friday evening traffic, but when you're on I-95, one never knows! Took us 2 an half hours to drive the 70 odd miles to Nassau Coliseum and we were quite happy that we were one of the first few to get there. Content, we had a quick dinner...got our regular soda, popcorn and nachos and enthusiastically, took our seats! The coliseum was huge...with a 16,000 capacity we were convinced, the night was going to be anything, but uneventful! The stage was pretty big and contrary to our expectations, our seats weren't as scary as we had imagined them to be :). Not to forget, the two big TV screens that were put up next to the stage to ensure the fun never stopped!

As people started to flow in, the decibel level in the hall rose exponentially! Amidst all the noise around, the show started at 9pm with the song Maa Tujhe Salaam...nice start to the night. The art direction and projector graphics on the stage were quite impressive...Rahman followed it with a superb rendition of the song Yeh jo des hai tera from Swades.

After that performance, the soothing Dreams on Fire was performed by Shweta Pandit with utmost perfection! The crowd cheered hysterically, when Lata Mangeshkar was projected on the LED screen interspersing with Rahman while singing the splendid duet from RDB...Luka Chuppi.

The mood then transitioned to some of his Tamil song marvels...Endrendrum Punnagai (Original for O Humdum Suniyo Re), Urvasi Urvasi, Humma Humma, the Tamilians in the audience (more than 50%), roared and cheered absolutely crazy! He quickly followed those with Ringa Ringa Ringa, Mehndi Hai Rachne Wali, Dil Se Re, Pappu Can't Dance Saala, Khwaja Mere Khwaja, Barso Re Megha, O Palanhare and a fantastic medley of Hindi and Tamil songs featuring Oye Hoye Hoye...Genda Phool, Rehna Tu and some obviously hit Tamil songs to which the crowd jumped off their seats and started dancing in the pavilions! Neethi Muhan was fabulous with the Nazrein Milana dance number!

Harshdeep Kaur's spiritual classic peformance of Ik Onkar and the legendary Chaiya Chaiya...more than enough to have already made this evening one of the most entertaining ones in recent times. As Rahman bid good-bye abruptly, we all shouted..."Where's Jai Ho". In a couple of minutes, we realized he was pulling a fast one on all of us.... the mighty Jai Ho with all the supporting singers, along with ARR together on the circular ramp, then had the entire coliseum on their feet cheering loud and louder! Neha quickly managed to record the performance on her newly gifted flip video camera (that she loves to carry EVERYWHERE!)



Finally, he wrapped the whole thing with the patriotic classic - Vande Mataram! The event was not only a great show by the musical maestro but for some reason, I also felt a subtle feeling of Indianness, a deep sense of patriotism as all of us united to celebrate the artisitic brilliance of this one man who has redefined Indian music, probably in all forms that we know of! In the end, we walked out of the event, having got much more than what we had imagined....a wonderful evening, one that we're going to cherish for a while!

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Next post: Raavan - A Review on June 20, 2010

My top 10 all-time favourite movies

I have been a movie buff from the time I can trace my memory back...and life got better after marriage, since Neha loved movies just as much as I did, if not more!!! For those who've known me for a while, can imagine what a difficult task I would have had, when I chose to write about my top 10 favourite movies. Narrowing my picks down to ten choices was probably a herculean task for me, to begin with...after much thought I decided that I needed to split the write up between Hollywood and Bollywood separately!!!! 

With great difficulty, I am going to jot down my top Bollywood movies in this post, knowing fully well that there are probably a couple dozen more that are equally good or even better, and that these may not all be critically acclaimed or commercially successful, but over the years these have grown to become my eternal favourites! And now, as is customary, I begin in reverse order:-

10. Qurbani:

Without doubt, one of the best movies to be directed by Feroze Khan, this movie went on to become one of the biggest hits of the year! Roaring into the classic 80's action filled recipe, Qurbani introduces the word "sexy" into Bollywood. Zeenat Aman is ravishing and defines what will be followed for years and years as the benchmark for sensuous, yet respectable skin show! Besides her, Qurbani is a story of friendship - between Amar and Rakka. Vinod Khanna and Feroze Khan have no qualms about being overtly demonstrative in their friendly affections while being confident in their rugged masculinity; this movie solidifies Vinod Khanna's existing popularity and his position as one of the finest actors of the times! Finally, Biddu creates history and the world hears the magnificent voice of 15-year old Nazia Hassan rocking the charts with Aap Jaisa Koi and Laila O Laila! Hum Tumhe Chahte Hain, Kya Dekhto Ho and the wonderful qawwali, Qurbani Qurbani make the music track never to forget!

9. Maine Pyar Kiya:

Boy meets girl and they fall in love - but their fathers don't approve. Driven by the power of their love, they determine through hard work and honest living to prove to their skeptical fathers that they are a worthy and true match. Supported by the sympathy of a soft-hearted mother figure, a reliable friend or two, and even some assistance from the animal kingdom, love conquers all. Although the plot sounds like a film you've seen a few times before - no twists, no unpredicted outcomes, no surprises, that never stopped it from being a massive hit in its day...igniting the Suraj Barjatya hit machine that over the years perfected the art of delivering sugar-coated confections in cinematic form! MPK stands up today due to the infectious adorableness of its principals. As a young man, Salman Khan on the screen is fresh-faced, earnest, and sweet; his shaky attempts at keeping "cool" don't even begin to hide his tender heart. Meanwhile Bhagyashree shines with the cutest smile this side of Hema Malini. Ram Laxman score a bit hit with the music and the title track by Lata and SPB is one of the iconic love songs to have ever been sung! The "Friend" cap and the one liner - "Dosti mein no sorry, no thank you" were instant smash hits with one and all.

8. Anand:

The classic story of a terminally ill man who wishes to live life to the full before the inevitable occurs, as told by his best friend. Hrishikesh Mukherjee delivers a standout film which not only is an emotional tearjerker but fits it beautifully with soul-stirring songs from Salil Chaudhary, such as Maine tere liye, Na jiya lage na, Kahin door jab din dhal jaaye and Zindagi kaisi hai paheli!! Released in 1970, Anand won 6 Filmfare Awards and still remains one of Amitabh Bachchan and Rajesh Khanna's best performances. The phrase "Babu Moshay" became a legend and is still being used across the country to refer to any Bengali person!

7. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar:

Loosely translates to "He who wins is the ultimate conqueror", this extremely well-made copy of the famous Hollywood movie Breaking Away, makes it to my list as it was probably the first outstanding attempt to make a sports drama film, getting everyone nostalgic of their school lives, because I am sure there was no one who wouldn't have been able to identify with one of the characters! Superb songs (has to be an imminent part of the movie that makes this list, right? ;) )...Pehla Nasha was the first filmi song to be shot in complete slow motion, a trend that was later used extensively in movies/music videos. In the end, even though Sanjay's win was a foregone conclusion, the obstacle-laded race and the climax were still nail-biting. That's the beauty of this got me rooting for the guy who fights seemingly insurmountable odds and wins, and if the losers are rich snobs, so much the better! The film is a bitter-sweet coming of age tale, as well as the story of love, friendship and family triumphing against adversity. Last but not the least, Pooja Bedi's infamous red dress shots were the best things for the average adolescent!

6. Amar Akbar Anthony:

Amar Akbar Anthony is a raucous, ridiculous 1970s classic farce that featured some of the era's biggest stars, including Amitabh, Vinod Khanna, Rishi Kapoor, and my beloved Parveen Babi! Wacky hijinks, angry gangsters, half-wit thugs, a blind old woman, car chases, romance, house fires, bar fights, weddings, disguises - in true masala spirit, this energetic film has a little of everything. 'Clear your mind of "cannot"' said Hollywood actor Samuel L Jackson. And that is what filmmaker Manmohan Desai did on screen repeatedly, but most notably in this movie!! My favourite scene from the movie - Amitabh, in his justifiably famous drunken monologue in front of a mirror wherein a bruised and befuddled Anthony sticks Band-Aid on his reflection is probably one of the all-time classics! All actors were great, but I really liked Vinod Khanna, who intelligently prefers to play his role sedately; his sane, sturdy presence counterbalancing Amitabh's and Rishi's over-the-top antics. Rafi scores big time hits with Taiyyab Ali pyar ka dushman and Parda hai parda!!!

5. Abhimaan:

This 1973 film by Hrishikesh Mukherjee is believed to be based on the life of singer Kishore Kumar and his first wife, Ruma Ghosh. When it was released, audiences also found similarities between real-life couple Amitabh and Jaya and the couple they portrayed on-screen as Jaya's career was mush stronger than Amitabh's at the time. The combo of SD Burman and Majrooh Sultanpuri weaved magic into the films songs, all of them being super hits on the charts! The ending of the movie showcases what is considered a masterpiece of direction by Mukherjee and scoring by Burman, when the couple comes together again in an emotional reunion and they sing together Tere Mere Milan Ki Yeh Raina!!! Jaya Bhaduri is just simply excellent. She moves from being a shy new bride to a victim of shock with ease... her portrayal of Uma won her a Filmfare award and interestingly, she chose to take a long hiatus from acting after this movie!

4. I tried a lot to pick one, but I think I'll go in with a tie on this spot between Khubsoorat and Jab We Met!

Khubsoorat:

A 1980 movie, directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee, whose direction together with dialogues by Gulzar created a comedy classic. Rekha shined in a first all-out comic role, with her brilliant comic timing. The film won the 1981 Filmfare Best Movie Award and Rekha, won her first Filmfare Best Actress Award for her role as Manju Dayal! Khubsoorat is a sparkling comedy, both genial and literate. But amidst the froth and frolic, Mukherjee also slips in a subtly introduced message on the often conflicting roles of discipline and freedom in life. The redoubtable Dina Pathak plays the matriarch of a household who, like Queen Victoria, is not often amused. The battle lines are drawn when her daughter-in-law's sister (played with verve by Rekha) incites her family to rebellion. But finally, neither proves to be the victor! What I love about Hrishikesh Mukherjee is that his films are not too arty to alienate the masses and they were insightful enough to please the critics. Asha Bhonsle rocks with Sun sun sun didi tere liye, Piya baawri and Saare niyam tod do!

Jab We Met:

I think this movie is Shahid-Kareena's DDLJ! One of the finest romantic films to come out of Bollywood, JWM is the kind of cinematic experience that is hard to come by in this day and age of smoky cynicism and borrowed rage. Striking the right balance between light and heavy moments is akin to walking on a tight rope and Imtiaz handles the two extremes with remarkable ease. The film's music is fantabulous - Mauja hi mauja, Tumse Hi, Yeh Ishq Hai, Nagara - every song will go down in history as a classic! After a very long time, a movie that brought about a refreshing change to love stories! Shahid's career best performance at that time (Kaminey tops his acting overall)! Not to forget, Shahid comes of age as Bollywood's best dancer - his moves are just unbelievable, man!


3. Chak De India:

Shimit Amin's 2007 Bollywood sports film about field hockey in India, is probably the best sports based film to have ever been made! It is the story of a coach's fight of making his team, Team India by overcoming their diverse backgrounds, by learning to use everything that life hurls on them as a secret weapon. SRK rocks, and so do the 16 girls in the hockey team. Yash Raj had not ventured into unconventional cinema, except for a Kabul Express and so, this one was a commendable effort! Winning numerous Best Film and Best Actor awards, Chak De is probably one of SRK's all time best performances. There are numerous scenes which make you say, "Wow", others stir up your patriotism too! The McDonalds scene where the girls bash up the rowdies or the scene where an angry Kabir Khan tells Balbir to play strong against Argentina or the final sattar minute speech - everything was just perfect! The background score did not disappoint either....this is a classic!  

2. Gol Maal

For anyone who hasn't figured out so far, Hrishikesh Mukherjee has 4 of my top 10 movies - he clearly is my favourite director! Gol Maal, according to me is one of Hindi cinema's finest comedy! It marked the commencement of Mukherjee-Palekar comedy duo which went on to give us many more laugh riot movies later on. Winning the 1979 Best Actor and Best Comedian Filmfare awards for Palekar and Dutt respectively, this movie is evergreen and I can watch it as many times even today! Palekar as both Ramprasad and Laxmanprasad delivers his career best and Deven Verma is as good as ever. Panchamda scores a hit music with Aane wala pal (for which Gulzar saab got another Filmfare), Ek baat kahoon sach maano tum and the outstanding title track - wonderful songs and superb lyrics...my favourite favourite favourite comedy movie ever!

1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge

One of the only two films in the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die list, this is probably cinema at its brillance! Winner of 10 Filmfare Awards and one National Award, DDLJ took Aditya Chopra, SRK and Kajol to new heights and created Bollywood's finest on-screen couple ever, that went on to deliver some of the finest films to be made in modern cinema! The film did not have one execution flaw - outstanding performances by all actors, terrific direction, superb cinematography, awesome screenplay and melodious music/songs - you name it! Bade bade shehron mein choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain senorita - a dialogue that sent the entire country rolling on this fantastic love story! The scene when Raj tries to convince Farida Jalal that his way is the right way, the scene in which Anupam Kher says, I missed you yaar, the scene where Raj tells Simran, that he will not attend her wedding - one after the other...each one is a masterpiece in itself, brilliantly, flawlessly executed! This is probably one of the few films ever made that perform the rarely-achieved feat of stretching a predictable plot over three hours and making every minute memorable, enjoyable and worth appreciating! This is one movie that will probably occupy this position for the rest of my life! Inevitably, one cannot watch DDLJ without reflecting on the many subsequent films that have attempted to recapture its winning formula: two ill-matched lovers fight and frolic through foreign climes, their ultimate happiness imperiled by the approach of the heroine's wedding to another. But DDLJ towers atop the pinnacle of this genre thanks to the genuine wit of its dialogue, the briskness and believability of its plot, the irresistable charisma of its actors, and the superior quality and integration of its song sequences. Simran's famous dialogue regarding her dream visitor, Aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah athrah saalon mein could well be amended to fit the movie itself: Aisi movie ek baar hoti hai satrah athrah saalon mein.
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Next post: AR Rahman - Live in Concert on June 12, 2010

Algeria: The role it played in my marriage

Thanks everyone for the great feedback you provided to my first post! Based on your request, I have now added an email subscription alert box on the page so you would be notified whenever a new post is published. Also, as some of you suggested, I will try and put in the title and date of my next post at the end of each post, starting today!

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Day: Saturday July 5, 2008
Location: Delhi
Time: 11:00PM

As I write about the role of this dry African country in my marriage, I realize that it might make sense to give some colour around my experience there, to begin with.

Rewind back to 2006
This is right about the time of April-May, when I was working with the Corporate Audit Staff and we were about to know the specifics of the subsequent trimester's assignment. Having put in a request for some cool locations, I was quite hopeful that I'd get one of them....until one day, when I got a call from HR and one of the senior leaders asking me if I would be interested in being part of the first ever audit team in North Africa - I was told it was a Group 1 country, but we would be provided with security 24 x7!!!!! So much for "cool locations"....I replied that I'd take some time to revert back to them.

As I was thinking about it and enquiring more, I heard that quite a few people who were approached prior to me, had already denied to go there...talk about motivation, right?!!!? But that actually helped me in my decision....I decided to take it up, not because of anything else, but just because of the story I'd be able to tell everyone after that! And....what a story I have!!

Come June and we were gearing up to go to our first country - Algeria. We had obtained the necessary visa, corporate security approvals and were on our flight to Algiers. When we landed in Algiers, we were greeted by a security official to escort us through immigration and then take us to the baggage claim area. As we reached the baggage claim section, this official left us in the safe hands of a few other officials who were to transport us from the airport to the hotel. All this seemed quite manageable so far and I wondered why I was so worried about the security at the first place!

The next day we were to fly out to this place called Hassi R'Mel, which I was told is in the desert area and has one of our business locations where we were supposed to work for the next 3 weeks. At 8am in the morning, we got on this tiny ~20 seater Air Algerie flight; and, as I wasn't really able to sleep well at night, I fell asleep way before the flight even took off.

The next thing I realized was that the aircraft was making an extremely shaky landing and there were loud noises everywhere. I sat up and tried to wake up from my half-sleep half-awake state, still not sure of what was happening around me. As I got my eyes to open up, I looked out of the window and all I could see was a vast stretch of desert land. "SH*T" - yes, that is exactly what I exclaimed thinking that our plane might have been hijacked and forced to land in the middle of nowhere! I quickly turned around to see inside the aircraft and saw people getting their luggage out of the overhead compartments as if there was nothing to worry about. I looked outside the window again and then inside and then outside again...did it a few times until I felt that this vast stretch of desert land with no runway where my flight landed was in fact the airport! I murmured to myself, "WOW"!!!

So I got my bag and stepped down the stairs from the aircraft and looked around...and was intrigued to find no infrastructure that could anyway relate to that area being an "airport"!!!! So what would a normal person do in this situation?? Take a few pictures, right? Yeah...that's what I did...I took out my handy cam and started taking pictures and doing a short recording. As I was doing that, I began to hear loud voices from far behind that sounded Arabic. Thought to myself, why do I need to pay attention, obviously no one would be talking to me here. So I ignored that, and continued with my wide-eyed video recording! In no time, six huge Algerian security guards were around me and before I could realize what was happening, I was lifted by those 6 giants, one each lifting my 2 legs and 2 hands and the other 2 around them. After about 5 seconds, when I realized that my act of taking shots of the airport was being construed as a part of some anti-social plans to obtain schematics of the area to plot attacks, I immediately panicked!!!! And, then started telling them in English, Hindi, Urdu (all languages I knew) that I was just taking pictures of the airport and had no other intentions. They took me into a dark room and started talking among themselves in Arabic, paying no attention to my existence...and then, I heard the word "jail" among fluent Arabic conversations. I thought to myself, am I going to be arrested??? Holy crap....how would I even let my folks know about this, I thought to myself. Scared like hell, I tried to tell then that I was innocent, but who knew English there?? This whole thing lasted for about 30-40 minutes, and trust me I was pretty much reconciling to the fact that I'll be put into an Algerian prison for the rest of my life!

Now, since GE had arranged an official to pick us at the airport, he was obviously worried outside that why did one passenger not leave the airport when the flight had landed. Somehow he managed to come inside and find me in that dark room. (Its hilarious, when I spoke with this person later, he said that I was sitting so quietly in the room when he entered, that he thought I had accepted my fate to be in prison! ha ha). After a few minutes of explaining to the policemen in the room, he came to me and asked me to delete all the pictures/video from my camera. I took my camcorder and deleted all but one picture (my heart didn't allow me to delete everything since this was a one of a kind airport and I wanted to have one photograph as memory), thinking that how would the policeman ever get to know!!! Boy, wasn't I wrong??? The guy took my camera and spent the next 20 minutes checking all the photographs on my memory stick.....and yes, found that one picture finally! Damn...!!!!! He looked at me with a dirty grin on his face as if telling me, "You kid, did you think I was an idiot?", and I silently took the camera and still with a heavy heart, deleted that last picture as well. After the GE official convinced the policemen that I had nothing else they should be worried about, they let me go!

For the next three weeks, we lived in a small container inside an area that was guarded by a huge gate with barbed wires all around it, under extremely heavy security and ate pasta arrabiata for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day!

Interesting story, right???

Forward back to 2008
I had just broken the news of my decision to marry Neha to my folks, and quite contrary to my expectations of them objecting to our inter-religion marriage (I am a Hindu and Neha, a Jain)...everyone accepted it much easier than I had thought of. So I was quite thrilled! And we were on our way to let Neha's parents know. Now, just to give some perspective, I had never met Neha's parents before and since I was returning back to the US the next day, all I had was that night to let them know, since Neha wanted them to know before I flew back to the US...more so, she said she was extremely scared to tell them herself and wanted me to do it! Ha...examination time, dude...I wondered to myself! I had exactly 10 minutes to prepare my speech to them - the distance between our homes!!!!!

It all feels like a complete masala-filled Bollywood flick to me now, as I write this. Anyways, so as we were sitting in the living room at Neha's house, her parents, obviously having no idea of why I landed up at their place at 11pm in the night, were making small talk with me by asking me about my job and my life with GE etc. Somehow, in between all of this, the topic of Algeria sprung up and I narrated the entire story above, and Neha's family was laughing hysterically, all along!!

Suddenly, I looked at the clock and realized, I needed to get to the main point now. So I made eye contact with Neha (who was so nervous that she avoided sitting with us) and made a gesture to her, to come over and sit with me. Once she was with us, I told her parents that we had decided to get married. For the next 10 minutes, there was pin-drop silence in the room. I knew they were in shock and therefore, waited for a response quietly. Then her mother broke the silence and said, "Sorry, son...this cannot happen, we would not support this inter-religion marriage". I realized now was not the right time to say anything further and replied, "Please think and I'll talk to you all tomorrow again", and then decided to leave at that time. As I stood up, about to leave for the night, Neha's dad spoke, "Wait, a second...please sit down". Jumping with joy inside my heart, I maintained a poker face and sat down again. He continued, "I don't think I have a problem with this marriage...we'll have to convince a few people but I am ok with this".

I smiled gently, and thought in my mind that my story about my experiences in Algeria had, perhaps already sown the seeds of acceptance in his mind!

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Next post: My top 10 all-time favourite movies on June 6, 2010

24: The day Jack Bauer entered our lives

Day:           Tuesday April 24, 2009
Location:    GE Corporate West Building 1st Floor K Section Coffee Counter
Time:          9:00AM

I had just entered office and was setting up to start the day and three of my colleagues: Tim, Oso and AO stood right across my work area talking about the latest episode of 24, about how a certain Jack Bauer was a hero and how thrilling the series was turning out to be. In between faintly listening to their voices and setting up my computer, I had a gentle grin on my face - I was reminded of my time in Delhi when my mom used to live the ups and downs of the daily mega-soap opera Kyunki Saans Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi with her friends every afternoon and together brainstormed potential next day events; and, while still sporting that grin, I asked them..."WHAT IS wrong with you guys, why are you so obsessed with 24??"...to which very promptly they replied, "You should start watching and then you'll live the excitement with us!" I simply chose to ignore them at that time.

A few weeks later (after hearing about 24 all the time... morning set up time, lunch breaks, evenings!), I borrowed Season 1-5 of the series from AO. I came home and told my wife, Neha about it and both of us agreed to play the first episode as we sat down for dinner. So we sat down to watch Season 1 and it started with Jack Bauer's prologue:

"Right now, terrorists are planning to assassinate a presidential candidate. My wife and daughter have been kidnapped... and people that I work with may be involved in both. I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life."

We watched through the first couple of hours and at the end of the second hour, we both looked at each other with the kind of look on the face that said, "What's so great about this? A daughter is in bad company, parents looking for her at night and a guy works at a government agency to curb terrorism - I mean yeah, so what??", so we just went to sleep after that, clearly not finding anything good enough to sacrifice sleep! We got busy the next couple of days and thus did not continue watching from where we left. I mean, there was nothing yet that was gripping enough for us to go that extra mile just to watch it. Anyhow, after a few days, we decided to give it another shot, and started watching from the third hour...and the fourth and....by the time we reached the fifth hour, we began to get involved with the events and couldn't wait to see what happens next! But it was 11pm and we decided to call it a day...because for all those who know my wife, you'd know that staying awake beyond 10:30pm is a huge struggle for her! :)

Next day, both of us turned on the sixth hour while having dinner...we couldn't wait to see the next hour every time the prior hour ended. Boy, slowly and gradually, we were hooked!!!! We started watching 6-7 hours each night, staying up until 4am and then going to work at 9am.... day after day, week after week. Over the next 3-4 weeks, we finished all the five seasons! Now, AO did not have Season 6 with him and Season 7 was currently on air, so the DVD's hadn't released.....we tried Netflix and were thrilled to get Season 6 on it and quickly re-ordered our queue to get all the discs and wrapped it within a week! Things had changed, I became a participant to the Tuesday morning 24 discussions and was actively propagating others to start watching it! The wait for Season 7 to be released on DVD was killing us - Jack Bauer soon became the second man, Neha loved (obviously besides me!)!!!

On one of the weekends, while talking to my family back in India, and me and my brother were talking about something that I had asked him to enquire! The network did not seem that great and his voice began faltering a bit.... so to confirm that I was able to hear what he had just said, he repeated the whole thing again. The network wasn't that great but I was able to follow what he had said, and when he repeated it again, I quickly retorted, "Roger that!"

In due course, Season 7 released and we wrapped up watching it and life was back to normal with both Neha and I waiting to watch Season 8 live! On another weekend, while Neha was in the kitchen and I was inside in the bedroom, she yelled at me asking me to do something. I was busy doing something else and therefore didn't reply so Neha yelled out again, and just to indicate that I heard what she had said, I shouted back,"Neha, copy that!!!!!!!"

It didn't take me much time then, to realize that Jack Bauer had not only entered but also changed our lives and vocabulary for the foreseeable future!